Tuesday, 24 May 2011

'A Bad Parent'

That's what I was told by my 10yr old me on Friday evening.

And why??

We had made the decision to cancel him going on his Cub camp!!

Ok, harsh I can hear you all say and maybe it was, it certainly wasn't an easy decision to carry through as my husband is a parent/helper and was going ( still went actually) to the camp also!!

HARSH.........yes you said it earlier.

However, this 10yr old has the tendency to rule the household. He is dominating, loud and controlling. Recently he has had a lot of things come his way giving him great opportunities and fun times. In the meantime his older brother has been pushed from pillar to post to accommodate all the goings on, none of which have been to his benefit. This time the attitude progressively got worse over the last week and so we had a few words and warned him that if it continued he would not be allowed to go to camp.

Now I'm sure I'm not the only parent who has threatened these things and then at the last minute backed down. So tell me what does that teach children?

I'm sick of constantly not following through with things that I have said just because I don't want my boys to miss out. WELL NOT THIS TIME!

So on Friday we did it. We said he wouldn' be going to camp and we stuck with it. To which my 10yr old replied ' you are a bad parent'.................straight to the heart!!!!

This decision was made extra difficult as he came out of school sporting a gift bag which had a 'Star of the Week' trophy for something he did while on his 3 day school trip!!

This is the problem, he is a real Jackal and Hyde character. When he is behaving he is just a great fun boy to have around and can be so generous and helpful, however when he is not behaving he can make life in the house a real struggle.

All weekend he would not let it show that he had missed going on camp until today when he mentioned the school trip to Chessington,due to take place on Friday. It was at that point he decided to apologise for his behaviour and what he said, probably more to do with him thinking that he might not be able to go on that either!!!!

Then came the chat about the fact that we all do things wrong occasionally ( except me of course, that goes without saying) but it takes a better person to apologise.

So hopefully following through with the decision had some impact. Maybe he will take the warning next time knowing that as parents we can make the harsh decisions. Hopefully we haven't scarred him for life!!!!

SO TELL ME...........AM I A BAD PARENT????


  1. Terrible... no, only joking! Who hasn't carried out a threat? I've had to, it is the only way sometimes so now when I warn my son of something, he knows I mean business, well..most of the time..! Well done I say!

  2. Wow. Well done you! I can feel your angst..really, I can. I know just how you were feeling. That was some lesson your son was taught....and, as he came to apologise, it definitely had impact. I am impressed at how you followed through.

    That too is my downfall. I tend to give in at he end, finding some way to 'legitimately' do do! The thought of a screaming meltdown fills me with dread. Sometimes that's what it takes though doesn't it? To be a good parent ;-)

    xx Jazzy

  3. oh dear....spelling fail big time... no 'do do'!! I meant do so!!lol!

    xx jazzy

  4. Hi, found you via the BMB blog hop and am following you now. No you're not a bad parent at all but a caring one. I understand your concern though; I had to say no to my teenager the other day and I've had that thrown back in my face. But I've had to say no because her demands were taking over other family plans.

  5. Absolutely, 100%, you are not a bad parent. I admire that you followed through on his punishment because it is often easier to give in. In fact, if you did that every time, I reckon he might end up not being a struggle.

    Keep doing what you are doing chick! (he will rebel by calling you a bad parent, but that is only a futile attempt on his part to wriggle out of his punishment by making you feel guilty) ;-)

  6. Stigmum....thanks for popping by, and let's hope he knows I mean business too!

    Jazzygal..it was a toughie and hard to hear him be mean to me but seem to work as got an apology on Monday :)

    eb...Hi thanks for following.I'm glad I'm not the only one and fingers x it seems to have worked (for a while anyway)

    Annie...I've been there loads and I always make the mistake of giving in and now i'm so glad I didn't this time. I think he was worried he would also miss his school trip Friday to chessington so he apologised, which he never does!

    Big thank you ladies :)

  7. I think its so much easier to carry threats through with little ones. Its amazing how much difference it can make though. Hope it keeps working for you for a while.

  8. Well I think you are right if you don't carry it through it won't be taken seriously next time. Hopefully this situation has sent a message that it is important to think about others feelings. X

  9. Hi Alexander res and Working Lon mummy appreciate it. It does seem to have worked at the moment and hoping it lasts!!! Wishful thinking :)

  10. Awww lovely....this makes you absolutely the opposite of a bad Parent. You can't allow his behaviour to go unchecked and if you don't follow through on your threats then in my experience it continues to get worse. Hopefully he will think next time before he misbehaves. Well done for sticking to your guns xx

  11. I can't remember how I found you but I am enjoying reading. I say good on you for following through. I think we are all trying to prepare our kids for the real world without us, and lets face it everything we do has consqeuences. Learning that early is a great life lesson!


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